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We had our first real snowfall of the season last night, about eight inches. I successfully shoveled without apparently hurting my back! Yay!

In celebration, and in response to all the Christmas songs playing all around me, I’d like to bump an old post of carol parodies. The first one is the one I had in mind, though I still like the second too.

Clara: Dad, when’s Arthur Lutha Kid’s Day?

Timothy: Uh… what? read more...

Clara: Mom, in the morning I am all filled up with silliness!

Timothy: I think the silliness fills you up while you’re sleeping.

Katherine: And then maybe it leaks out during the day, so you’re not as silly by evening.

C: No, Mom, I can be silly at night too. Watch: bleahbleahbleah!!!

[Clara hears the news.]

Clara: I think we should get some flowers for [Grandma] Nanny to cheer her up.

Timothy: Yeah, actually, I think that’s a great idea. read more...

Dear Sirs,

I enjoy visiting your web site, and as a computer engineer and Buddhist meditator, I have always felt confident that I could be considered a member.

Like many dull men, my breakfast rarely varies - every few years the particular brand of breakfast cereal I eat changes due to factors out of my control, but otherwise, the menu is soothingly consistent.

However, yesterday I noticed a carafe of orange juice in the refrigerator. This is an unusual occurrence; I think my wife obtained it for some visiting child. Well, something came over me, and I poured myself a half-glass. read more...

Clara: Mom, I can count in Spanish. Uno, dos, tres, quatro, fingo, seis.

Mom: Wow, that’s great!

Clara: And, do you know how to say “Yes?”

Mom: ¿En Español? ¿Como?

Clara: Nope, it’s “Si.”

Clara: Mom, me and Happy Feet were…

Mom (interrupts): Happy Feet and I…

Clara: No, Mom, I said Happy Feet and me.

Mom: Yes, but the way you say it is “Happy Feet and I.”

Clara: But Mom, it was me and Happy Feet!

Dad: Mom is telling you that the way that grown-ups say it is to say “I” instead of “me.”

Mom: Yeah, cause you wouldn’t say “me go to the store,” you would say “I go to the store.”

(pause)

Clara: Mom, Happy Feet and I …

[Clara is looking at a dinosaur book.]

Clara: I know what this says: “Rocky… Records. How… do we… k-now? kunnou?

Timothy: ‘Know.’ That’s a weird one - a silent K that makes the O say its name.

C: “How do we know… what dinosaurs… looked… like?” On this page there’s the skeletons. I think this skeleton is from this dinosaur. See, Dad?” read more...

[Clara is in the living room watching a movie. Mom and Dad are in the family room. They hear a crash. Coming to investigate, they find a ceramic bowl shattered on the floor and Clara standing near it.]

Dad: What happened? [pauses the movie]

Clara: The bowl fell and broke.

D: What did it have in it? read more...

[Katherine and Clara return home at the end of the school day.]

K: Oh, good - John took the sheetrock away! Hey - let’s see if he took the door!

[they go to the storage room]

K: He didn’t take the damn door.

C: What damn door? Where’s the damn door?

K: That door right there.

C: That’s a damn door?

K: Yup… that’s the door.

C: What’s a damn door?

K: Uh… This is just a door.